Letting go. Goodbye.

December 25, 2010

Letting go. Goodbye.

*
Dear Diary,

You learn to let go. You're too good to me anyway ;) , both of us deserve better.

Thank you, G.

duckieb3s.

"Sad. But not too bad. Dissapointed, but happy at the same time. Nice, confusion."

Was with another friend, I that day, haha. I should not tell, but she had a crush on somebody, and it took a lot of courage for her to muster to say "Hi!" to her prince charming. Sadly, her prince charming already had a princess, and so...well, i think you know how it goes.

I thought to myself : that's not going to happen to me again. hah!

A week ago, i let down my guard to a stranger, a close friend. Today, I'm saying goodbye to him. I hate goodbyes, i told him so. I told him that i was expecting him to leave soon anyway, and i guess him leaving earlier wouldn't matter too much, right? Yea, right.

My heart. Fullstop. It's been numbed since i met him. Never had that numbness before, I'm really good at imagining stuff, and i remember people by images. BUT, after i met him, i can't conjure a perfect image of him at all, it's like he doesn't exist in my memory. I'm confused. It can't be happening!!

I'm afraid each day I wake up, it seems like I'm living a dream whenever I'm with him. It's like a video without the characters in it. Can you imagine the last time you woke up and remembered every detail of your dream?? Although you might still have the nice, tingling sensation after that..you don't seem to remember the people in your dreams.

I guess it all reminded me about 2 years ago. When i first experienced the same thing. Love at first sight, that was. But we both had to let go for our future's sake. Added some metal cages to my heart. LOLx. *sounds emo*

I think i have to add more security system this time. Metal cages are outdated!! XD

Honestly, it took me 3 days before it really hit me that my previous crush's gone..and then, it ended up me crying alone in my pillow, for the next 3 days. *Lolx. Silly larr.* No, i was still single at that time. And still is. Today is the first day, and i still don't feel anything, normal?

haha. if i can only add these extra features to my heart ! =)

Well, it's done now. I'm focused. It's God, me, and my ambition. I'll get there, without help, as usual. I thought God sent him to help me though, but it seems I'm more of an extra burden. haha.

*BTW, I'm sorry if i had made you confused as well, i didn't mean to.*

Goodbye. Like you said, if it was meant to be, we can't run away. I'm cool, really, exceptionally cool when writing this. <3

*No, it's not me being emo~ it's the real me, it's a truth. I want to stop pretending goodbyes don't hurt. Just using this place to express it that's all..*