Bummer. Cried again.
*
Everyday we wake up to a new day, it's a new war. It's like; making the right decisions, so as not to end up with it's consequences.
Of course i knew God is in charge, i just need to know how to deal with it.
*P.s.
Service today needed us to fast on something important in our lives currently, which is taking too much of our time, and so that our prayers can be answered. I'd figure that I will fasting on G---which means i won't think of him for 2 weeks, but I'll still be diary-ing ;)
I don't know what to say. whether i should say it's ...
God trying to test me, or to say Satan is at work.
Worse! I don't know who i can ask for help. Probably the pastor, but i feel that I'm more comfortable talking to my mentor about these things. Maybe it's time to step out of my comfort zone.
As a Christian ( if it annoys you I'm sorry), you're in it and fighting for survival, to make right choices.
People like to be prejudice against Christians sometimes, saying that we should all be Holy. Perhaps some say that we're just too Holy. But the truth is Christians are just different because they know that in the midst of making choices---we have God to call out for strength.
This week has the highest amount of tears in my new year. I did not cry because of stress, nor relationship. I cried because..of having the burden for people to be saved.
List of tears:
1. Dexter--former drug addict. Met him last Sunday through G. He can be really nice, i know he can. I heard his story and only broke down uncontrollably in front of the computer when I was inbox-ing G. I was terrified, not because of his nature, but because I can't do SOMETHING to help him...only pray.
I am HELPLESS!
2.Rui Xin--A girl in my school. Her grandparent was down with stroke. The thing is, I'm only puzzled whether God made this happen so that her family can see God's glory, or because Satan is attacking. I don't know, but i cried. God, please heal her grandfather.
*And if you're reading, it'd be nice of you to leave a prayer =)*
3.Irene-- Another good friend of mine.Ii was in Sunday service when she called. I hear her cry over the phone. She said her parents disallowed her to come to church ever again! My heart sank immediately. What? This happening in church?? And i was crying throughout the service from the inside out. Usually i can pretend I'm okay, but not this time.
G, my mentor, says, "Chill in faith."
Of course i knew God is in charge, i just need to know how to deal with it.
*P.s.
Service today needed us to fast on something important in our lives currently, which is taking too much of our time, and so that our prayers can be answered. I'd figure that I will fasting on G---which means i won't think of him for 2 weeks, but I'll still be diary-ing ;)
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