My Best Wishes to You

I read about you today. Just then I realize, time flies, it’s been a year now. The picture of you in my mind is starting to get blurry. I was searching high and low for the school magazine, for a trace of you inside. I finally found it, the magazine cover was once your most amazing piece of design, at least it was, to me. I hugged it close to me. I still miss you a lot…maybe, I did regret letting you go…

I remember the first time we met. I was introduced to you by a friend. It wasn't the magic tricks you display that somehow captured my heart. I was told not to believe in love at first sight, but… I never talk to you then, but glimpsing you every morning is much more than a routine, and I have the feeling that you too treat it more than a routine. Then came the annual school prom, where I made a big mess, but you were there for me. You took the initiative to walk me to the lake, miserable drift away as you consoled me, under the moonlight. I can never forget the moment that night, the scene of the lake, embracing the beautiful moments.

I was quite sure somehow, although we have just met, yet there was some sort of connection, but I never told you. Liking you seems so impossible, when we both have so many commitments. Or maybe I was just trying to make an excuse to know you better before accepting the fact that you’re merely a crush. Besides, a guy like you should not like a girl like me. I decided that there would be no chance for us to continue this relationship more than best friends. I was prepared to give you an answer for your question. But I know this answer will be hard, for both of us.

I thank you for accepting me still as your best friend, and I would not ask any more for your trust over my decision. As I said , time flies. You were preparing for your year end exams, especially SPM. I haven’t seen you for quite a long time in school. I figured out that you were busy, and you’ll need personal time at home for revision. So on your birthday, I made a bear to bring you luck throughout your exam, at the same time, I was hinting you that I miss you although I was determined to forget you. But I never expect to not say a goodbye to you even though after the semester ended. And from that day onwards I never see your face in school. You vanished into thin air, almost out of my life. I wonder sometimes if you’ll ever think of me in college, because I tried constantly reminding myself of you.

I was living in a window of my own fantasy, miserable to find that it was only a dream. I read your blog today, in case if you did not realize. The words “I finally found the girl I’m looking for.” was written in your blog. I hope that you’ll wait for me even though you‘re in college though. Am I hallucinating,? I wish I was, but I was not… I never asked you to wait because it’d be unfair. I guess I finally found out the reason why I rejected you. It’s because I was not brave enough to face the consequences of losing you. And yet , I still lose you.

If we can make a U-turn in life, I still would not changed my decision, because it would be more painful for two people to suffer, than one to regret of losing the other. Call me an idiot, for sacrificing over nothing, but I still think it’s worth it, as long that you’re not hurt. All I can do now, is to give you my best wishes and pray that “she” will not take you for granted. And whenever you need an ear, I promise I’ll be there to give you one, like you once did…

p.s. this story is on the bloggers imagination, or maybe not...